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What should I tell my children? |
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For children, the trauma of pet loss can be compounded because it is often their first real encounter with the reality and finality of death. It can be terrifying and heart-breaking experience for them. Honesty is important. Perhaps the biggest mistake adults make in discussing the passing of a pet is to say the animal was 'put to sleep'. You may imagine the child can then think of the deceased pet curled up on a fluffy pillow in heaven. In reality, what they may imagine is that they themselves may go to sleep at night and never wake up again. on't
say "she went away" or "she didn't want to stay here anymore". A child
may then wait in anguish for their pet to return or wonder what they did
to make their pet unhappy enough to leave. Make it clear that the pet will
not come back and that she is at peace.
Another
mistake we often make in discussing companion animal death with children
is to dwell on the concept that the pet was old. Think of how it must sound
to a 12-year-old boy when you tell him that 13-year-old Brandy died of
'old age'. If you fail to stress the vast difference in the life-spans
of animals and humans you could be putting your child through a great deal
of unnecessary psychological trauma.
You
are the best judge of what your children can and cannot understand, based
upon their ages and personalities - but don't underestimate them! Being
honest with your children about what happened to the pet provides an opportunity
to address some of the fears and misconceptions they may have about death
and dying.
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